As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward sequels to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.
Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
