Should My Wannabe Content Creator Friend Stop Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?